How do you help people transform?

About 6 months ago someone asked me "How do you help people transform?". At the time I gave them an answer I felt best explained the work I do. I coach, lead classes and workshops that educate and help give people options that weren’t there before so that they might make choices that better represent their values and desires as they design a lifestyle that supports them.

Though this answer is still true, I often struggle to deliver the depth and expanded detail of the kind of transformation people who work with me experience. In an article by author Ken Wilber, I found a passage that really got to the core of it:

“And therefore, all of those for whom authentic transformation has deeply unseated their souls must, I believe, wrestle with the profound moral obligation to shout from the heart—perhaps quietly and gently, with tears of reluctance; perhaps with fierce fire and angry wisdom; perhaps with slow and careful analysis; perhaps by unshakable public example—but authenticity always and absolutely carries a demand and duty: you must speak out, to the best of your ability, and shake the spiritual tree, and shine your headlights into the eyes of the complacent. You must let that radical realization rumble through your veins and rattle those around you.”

Whoa.

You’re probably thinking… whaaaaaaaat?

Well, to break it down a bit, focus on this part: “shine your headlights into the eyes of the complacent. You must let that radical realization rumble through your veins and rattle those around you".

I’m good at is seeing where people give up, give in, stop dreaming, live backwards, and put walls up around them. I listen and feel for cues: sarcasm, negativity, hesitation, body movements, facial expressions, tone of voice, and silence. I blast the headlights on these things and rattle people up.

The transformation

Essentially, transformation is about going from:

“My life is decent. I have a nagging feeling that just won’t go away but whatever nothing’s perfect."

to something like…

“That’s it. I’m doing it. I’m gonna consciously start looking at that unsettling fear and doubt. I’m going to let myself be rattled and shaken up and feel what it is to question my beliefs. I’m going to become more honest with myself and one day I’m going to feel so powerful that it scares away my “issues” and burns them up in flames through my own courage and intentional action.”

How do I get there? you ask.

Well, I will briefly tell you part of my story to share some clues that might spark a flame. I always wanted to live a soul saturating life. I wanting to jump out of bed as say YES! to life. I wanted a life where I could be equally wildly free and calmly grounded. I wanted to live with full expression, integrity and to fulfill my duty to serve the world uniquely and creatively.

This is my birthright.

Ask yourself: what have I always wanted?

How I came to start living my birthright began when I first tasted the freedom from the limitations of my own ego, from the limitations of society and the mainstream. I chose to look a little deeper. After many trainings, workshops, and doing my own inner work I can say with confidence that I journey into the world each day as a warrior of my own spirit. I dared to reject complacence and any of the following: “I’m too tired”, “I’m too old”, “I’m too scared”, “I’m too busy”, “I’m too broke”, “I’m too….”. Choosing to build the reality I want mean I continually transform and shape shift. It is a constant evolution.

Ask yourself: how can I start living my birthright?

Finding out how to live your birthright is a journey from which you can never return. Your personal evolution can be as abstract as a vision quest into the unknown or as deceptively simple as asking yourself: Where have I given up? How do I lie to myself? What do I run away from?

Simple questions to shine the light and rattle you up.

[photo credit: Earth Angels]